January recap

The first month of 2015 is behind us. 30+ days went by in a flash. I did so much, but I know I could`ve done much more. At the end of 2014 I was writing up my goals, resolutions and plans for 2015, for the first months to catch the momentum so my year would have a solid start for great (new) adventures. My resolution was to try whatever opportunity life gave me, so I did. More or less. One of my resolutions, plans and milestones was to have a recap at the end of each month and evaluate the month passed. So, this is my first and grand January recap.

In January I had 8 posts, less than last years 13, but more than in December 2014. The numbers are not really the reason I post, but keep in mind that, like it or not, we people do love numbers. In all the shapes and sizes, but that does not mean we don`t care about quality as well. For me, if it were all about the numbers I would have given up on blogging a long time ago. And with that in mind, I know I should post more, but resistance sometimes gets the best of me. So I post when I feel like it. I struggle sometimes with themes and subjects of my posts, and I try to avoid posting for sake of posting. All in all, I am OK with the way the year started, blog wise. And here`s to improvement!

Of all other plans and ideas to check of my 2015 resolution list, I checked the "go back to sketching" one. I even added some water coloring.

I upped my game on Instagram, took more photos, kept my 5 minute journal at OK level. I practice gratefulness and intention every day, and recognize signs of opportunity one by one.

Eating healthier after holiday craze is also on fast track to success. A lot of veggies and less and less crap. Eating fast food is (again) becoming unappealing for me more each day and I am so happy about it since I am such a junkie. Or, was. Yay!

Some January outfits that made grey, gloomy rainy days a bit brighter and happier. Although I was at work only for 7.5 days before sick leave was reinforced and PJs were back on schedule as all day dressing attire.

All in all January was good and I am thankful for the way it turned out. I met one amazing woman and had so many great ideas and made some plans, so I look forward to the future and making this January recap even more successful February recap. Hello February and welcome.

How was your January? Do you like how your year started and what was the most memorable moment in last 30 days?

Mine was when I really spent the day away from procrastinating on Pinterest or TV, but read, sketched, cooked and had a great day, almost totally unplugged. I was so surprised how natural it was for me to spend it that way. Maybe it was just what I needed. I guess I just need to listen more carefully.

Tell me about your month and what are your plans for February.

The stories we tell

 

The middle of the week. We are half way there and it`s almost weekend, again. I have been trying to write a post for the past hour or so and all I have gotten out of it are delays, problems, malfunctions and tantrum-y programs and machines. I hope they had their fit so we can commence. 

But that is not THE story I wanted to tell. Although the moment (of the original story) is more or less gone, the fragments that resided will hopefully be enough to save the story in one way or another. I wanted to tell a story about telling stories. And we all tell stories. One way or another.

Whether we are storytellers, writers, photographers or painters, actors, musicians or parents telling their children fairy tales before bed, individuals reminiscing about moments gone, telling stories is natural to all human beings. Some people are better and more creative about presenting them, some are shy and secretive and keep them hidden for their own pleasure. But in the end, moments captured in storytelling works of art are memories and emotions that live forever. 

Thinking about ways to tell a story, to capture a moment or hold on to a memory got me thinking about that book "Stuffocation" that basically lies on a premise that people today are more and more suffocated by stuff, thus the expression "stuffocation" and that living the stories, lives, moments and collecting them as adventures and memories, in the end again and again stories to tell, remember and share are more and more important than any object you can buy.

Clothes and gadgets (and all other stuff) have become so accessible and cheap, we are suffocated by trends and must haves that most people think that getting that coveted item will make them happy in the end. And sure, maybe it will make you happy for few weeks but then, another item will come around and consume you wholere with the need to own it. So we go around the world, with our heads stuck in "stuffs", on the run to get that hot new stuff that everybody is raving about, forgetting to tell the story. Any kind of a story. Except the one about getting THE stuff.

I am not saying that we need to go "native" return to the cave and abandon all the privileges 2015 can offer us. I am just saying, look around and tell me your story. 

My story (for this blog entry) is this - I wanted to tell a story about telling stories. LOL. Maybe this whole post seems a bit coocoo and random, but hey, this is my story and this is the way I decided to tell it.

Use resources around you to be your art - cameras, pens and pencils, colors and canvases, words and strokes, and let the art you make, the story you tell be your history.

Maybe some of the coveted items have special and sentimental value and I respect that. I would probably hold on to that one too, but I think there is nothing more valuable than a story you poured your whole heart, soul and being into. Even if it is a quiet (but special and with the right intention) night (or any part of the day in any way you want it) with someone special, a loved one, a friend, relative, parent, someone whose company makes you happy, the product of your storytelling, even if it be a personal journal entry, will have unmeasurable value as a memory and a story to remember.

Some stories come as more spontaneous moments, but are equally important. Because the beauty is in the eye of the beholder and every story is worth telling.

p.s. I had this incredible urge to write this storytelling post and I could have written it in one of my journals or notebooks but the urge wanted it more public. And for few days this idea was floating in my mind, in different shapes and sizes, and then in the end this came out. What do you think of it?

New year resolution

If you could write a text to the you a year ago to prepare yourself for 2014 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?

New year resolution(s). Every year millions of people make lists, promises and dreams for the year ahead, encouraged by the success or the failure of the same. Either way, planing a better self, a better life for yourself is always a good way to go even if you don`t cross all the things from said list. New year resolutions are often ridiculed and laughed at because well, most of us suck at completing them. I suck at completing them. Most of the time. And that is OK. So what is different this year? I didn`t make one. Yet.

My new year resolution is to try. I got only that one. To try to write. To be the better version of myself. To try to be happier when it comes to work/hobbies, more positive and less annoyed by meaningless words, deeds and people. Try not to complain and always look on the bright side (of life). Just to try. The rest will follow.

I have several tasks, milestones, lists I wish to accomplish this year and I will try to, first make them, then stick to some points... just try... and the most important, I will try not to give up (so/to) easily. That is my biggest challenge. My new year resolution is to TRY (anything and everything).

And with that said, remember this, you can`t go wrong. I would like to share these words from Neil Gaiman with you about mistakes.

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. Your`re doing things you`ve never done before, and more importantly, you`re Doing Something.

So that`s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody`s ever made before. Don`t freeze, don`t stop, don`t worry that it isn`t good enough, or it isn`t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work, or family, or life.

Whatever it is you`re scared of doing. Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever."

I love this. LOVE. I am scared. All the time. And because of that fear I let life get by me, doing nothing, just sitting in fear of not being good enough. I don`t really understand why is that and that is a topic for another post. But for now, let`s not be scared and let`s do some mistakes. Epic shit.

Just try.

A lot can happen in a year. A lot. (or nothing really, it`s your choice)

I choose a bountiful year full of mistakes, people, places, dreams and epic shit I`ve done. I choose to recognize every day as a chance to be a creator of awesome things. Awesome things I desire, dream of, create, think, write. I choose to be present every day and let magic happen. I choose to seize the day and try.

Don`t put pressure on yourself, on your resolution(s), lists, anything. Baby steps. Just try.

And if all this feels like load of crap... here is one final piece of advice I will make my mantra for life:

SMILE LIKE A MONKEY WITH A NEW BANANA. that is it. the best of me. it`s not really mine, I found it online.

Stay focused and extra sparkly.

 

Happy 2015

Happy new year! Welcome 2015. I am sure you are going to be just splendid. Full of marvelous new adventures, wonderful memories, places and people. I know you are going to be awesome. So, here is to you! Cheers! Clank!

Here is something to think about and incorporate in daily life in 2015.

Never looking back or too far in front of me. The present is a gift, and I just wanna BE.

In the spirit of this quote, I am not going to tell you all about my plans, resolutions and overall excitement that is currently overwhelming my head. No, I am going to enjoy this moment of quiet first day of January (btw hello January) and write my five minute journal. Watch quietly last hours of first day of 2015 as they pass by. Tomorrow is friYAY, and although I don`t go to work, I can`t help but say - yay it`s Friday!

Happy 2015 everyone!

Goodbye 2014

It`s new year`s eve, and it`s so quiet. It feels just like any other week night but still for people all around the globe this is the night of happy endings and new beginnings. Goodbye 2014 and hello 2015. It`s been quite a year. With happy and sad moments and any other year in any life I guess, but you were`nt that bad and depressing so, thanks for that. All that has happened or didn`t happen is on me, not you, you were here just... doing your job and being what time is... a mixture of moments and events, ever changing with occasional feelings of repetition. Panta rei as a famous greek would say and I couldn`t agree more. The moment is gone, but ever present in our hearts, memories, photographs and on internet. God bless internet. Goodbye 2014, you can scream and bit but I will be OK. 

Today I found so many inspiring words and quotes on social networks that people posted while they parted with 2014, and I would like to share some of them with you and write them here as a reminder for some future times.

" I keep turning over new leaves, and spoiling them, as I used to spoil my copybooks; and I make so many beginnings there never will be an end." - Louisa May Alcott

Turning over new leaves can happen in any given moment, when you are ready to do it. Mostly people have strong feelings about year ends and new beginnings so, turning a new leaf will be natural for most of us, staring a new journal, new habits and checking resolutions we listed to do when the clock turns 12. New years resolutions. Sometimes I find them silly, because I mostly don`t make them happen, and if you are trying to become a better self, you should do that any day and every day, and because you feel it not because a list told you so. But I do love to make lists.

What resolutions made the list will be something I plan to share with you tomorrow when my hangover subsides and I regain basic functions as a human being. Just kidding, I`m too old for that shit. Here I go again, I`m on a roll. I really do sound like someones grandma. Sad. So sad.

Now seriously, I would love to hear about your resolutions, these always inspire me so please share them with me. Don`t be shy.
This is it, the final page of a book that was called 2014. I hope you had an amazing year, and if you didn`t that is OK too. The point is not to dwell in the past but look at the future and have just one important plan on your mind - enjoy the ride. And keep in mind this saying from Buddha:

What you think,
you become.

What you feel,
you attract.

What you imagine,
you create.

Have a lovely celebration of 2014 going away and 2015 arriving with nothing else but endless possibilities. Take a step and follow your heart.

Happy new year!

Good bye my little friend

I still can`t believe he is gone. I can`t believe I am actually writing this post, about his death. Do you remember this post? It was not long ago when I wrote it and I never imagined that I would be saying my goodbye so soon.

Ben passed away on Tuesday, 28 Oct only 30 minutes after my arrival home. As if he was holding on so I could say my goodbye. Which I didn`t really, because he looked better after few hours of IV and I thought he was gonna get better. Only he did not.

Ben was 12 years old, maybe even more, and was and rescue dog. He was with us for almost 2 years, it would be 2 around Christmas. I miss him so much. Even the cats miss him. He got sick so suddenly and was gone in 3 days. I know he was old but I have to be honest, I did not think his time would be so soon. Everyone says, at least he died with us, not alone, at home and not out on the cold. Yes, that brings me some comfort, but he is still gone. Last few days went by in a bit of a blur for all of us. I have been crying my eyes out, and I can only imagine how my husband is doing. Although I "picked" him, he was his dog. Or should I say, he was Ben`s human. He picked him in the end. Listened to him and cried when hubby was on business trips, and I was the only one at home. He loved him so much.

It is so strange without him in the house. Although he was a quiet dog who loved to sleep and just chill all day long, I can feel the emptiness all around me. I don`t need to pay attention in the kitchen when I walk, there is no one to be stepped on. I can open the fridge just like that, he is not sleeping in front of it. The floors are clean and no one is waking me up at crack of dawn to let him out to pee or bark at a hedgehog. I would do anything to wander the front yard at 4 am, looking for an intruder that keeps my dog up. They would make friends and then Ben would tried to eat it. Not good. But I would trade the world for it. I miss him so much. Even the cat is depressed.

Ben, my dear little friend you gave us 2 wonderful years and you were family to us. Not a pet. Family. You taught me that old dogs, and gosh you were old, can be taught new tricks. YAY! We didn`t get to do the "roll over"s but... when we meet again, I am sure we will. By the end you were blind and deaf but you still new when to greet us at the door. You went away quickly and quiet as if you knew we couldn`t handle making the decision of putting you to sleep. I don`t think I could do it. You died in our arms, at home, loved more than I will ever be able to describe. But you knew.

And we will always love you.

Be happy my friend beyond the rainbow in dog heaven. And you will never be hungry again. Ever.

And when the time comes, I know you will give us a sign whom to rescue next.

Love you,

I.

 

Soft paws - my furry babies

While my initial plan was to post something form "Blogging 101" series (that is still not a real series edition but I am so working on that) I decided to introduce you all with my/our furry family members. Since we don`t have children and I absolutely adore animals it is only natural to have a pet or two. Or four. We are talking about three cats and one dog. They are all rescue animals and have been with us some for 3 years and one little baby barely a week.

They are my babies. I love them more than anything in the world and each day they amaze me how different they all are and how much character they actually have. To me they are not just animals, pets, cats and a dog. They have their personae, characters and people who treat cats and dogs just as animals that populate Earth with us just as trees and stones, they won`t understand what I am talking about. These guys are my family. Our Family.

The first one that came to our little family is Mirko. The big drama queen that was rescued on our vacation at sea side and brought home at approximate age of 1.5/2 yrs. He is a silky silver/gray tabbby cat who would loved to be the only cat, dramatically ruling his kingdom as he pleases. He is what you call, a real cat. Hard headed vain diva who will allow you to pet him when and only when he wants it to. Usually its at the least convenient time for us. But when he comes to you for his pet-time he is the most gentle and attentive cat ever. He snuggles so hard as if he is a baby kitten trying to hide from the world in his moms arms. He is always on the lookout, worrying there is some one to get him. Drama queen.

The Stoner and the most chilled cat ever is the second addition to our family and is named Slavko. Orange with lush soft fur, relaxed as if he is stoned beyond limits, he will allow you to do anything to him as long as you pet and feed him. He is also a notorious food kleptomaniac. People, watch your plates! He was abandoned in the city, all skinny and hungry advertised on social networks and while my husband intended him as a present to our friend that "lost" her cats at the time, Slavko stayed with us. And yes he looks just like Garfield. So the food issue was not a surprise. Plates people, plates!

After these two got along (about a year or so after the first cat came to us) and Mirko accepted the fact that some "commoners" are being brought to his kingdom but hoped that that one was the only one, something imaginable happened. Some big, strange creature came along, sniffing and drooling and it was really big! Guys spent three days camping up high on a refrigerator until they got used to our new addition - dog. He was a 10/12 years old rescue dog (we named him Ben) that had numerous health problems, behavior problems and was attacking both people and other dogs. Now he is one of the most calm, gentle and caring creatures I have ever met. But watch out for your plates. He was probably hungry a lot so will eat almost anything.

The last but not the least is a five months, completely blind kitty called Ozren. But we call him Ozy. He came to us 5 days ago and I can`t imagine my life without him. He is not at all disabled by his lack of sight. It is amazing how he manages through our house, we even found him on top of a AC unit, just chillin`, you know.  And the way all of them just clicked together is beyond words. He is completely black, his eyes were infected with virus thus taken out and he has one white mustache. He is the coolest cat ever. He plays with toys, climbs anything and everything, catches flies and butterflies just like any "normal" cat would do. He plans to join a circus, be a champion snuggle-ball and never grow up. Kitties are the best!

Now I just need one group photo. A family portrait.

Trip to Vienna

Vienna. Charming and warm city of kings where the old meets the new in perfect harmony. I had the pleasure to spent few days wondering the streets. Unfortunately it was a really short trip, only two days, but still I had the time to browse a city a little bit, do some shopping and enjoy the crowded streets of Austrian capital city.

I was amazed how clean the city is. Amazing. Since it was a city of kings it is only natural to keep up the appearances, and look more than presentable. Its architecture is magnificent, what I loved the most is the combination of old and the new. Stone and glass. How hundreds of years  meet something made almost yesterday. The combination is amazing. The old structure has not been compromised by the new adaptation or addition. The city lives on but respects and cherishes the heritage. And have I mentioned how incredibly clean Vienna is. Amazing. As I said.

Museums and churches, fashion and culture, Starbucks and the most amazing ribs in my favorite Viennese brewery 15-16 are the staples of my journey. It was not the first time I was there but I am sure not the last either. Next time hopefully I will stay for a longer period.

What can I say about shopping? I raided F21 and Primark, since you know, we don`t have them in Croatia and I can only look the windows of Prada & Co. I went to few second hand stores, found really nice things but also that they are quite a bit pricy. QUITE! So, SHS did not go well, but at least I got the chance to feast my eyes on some really nice vintage pieces. French. Vintage. Be still my heart.

All in all I loved Vienna really much, but Prague somehow left a bigger impact. Maybe because I was there longer and had more time to really soak the city in. There is no need to say London is another story all together. Anyhoo, its been a long time since I`ve been on the move, so I won`t complain. Who knows where I will go next?! Kitchen probably.

What is your favorite city you`ve been to?

Vacation week in pictures

Last week I was on a little vacation and since it was my birthday in the middle of the week, I had a little me time, celebrated with my family and friends, did some cooking, relaxing, reading, sewing and re-decorating.

Oh yes and some yoga. Can`t forget yoga.

Today I am back to work, for another two weeks and then again - vacation!

And today I found out that I will be going to Vienna in November for 3 days. Can`t wait. Solo sight-seeing. My favorite.

Any tips for super interesting sights and lovely secrets? Of course, the list of second hand shops is a must.

Birthday wishlist

mesh tank top // bra // skirt // boots

 

Pants // Sneakers // Bra // Clutch

 

 

 

Planer // Pencils //Pompoms //Earbuds //I`m very busy //Thermos

 

I am officially old. Like a Bible. Just kidding. I am not yet officially. At least not until tomorrow.

So my B-day came a-knocking and I can only say goodbye 30, did you really have to go?

I hope this 31 year of my life will be better than the 30th was in terms of business. I have the love of my life, my health and I can say I am OK and happy.

So I could you some professional boost, an upgrade if you will. And a lottery win would help me so much with this birthday wishlist above.

 

These are some of the pretty things my heart desires and would love love to own some day. I know it is not all in material possession but that is not our current subject, lets leave that for tomorrow when a years review of personal achievement can be done.

 Honestly I can`t wait for tomorrow.

bloggers block - uninspired to the core

What to do when you have a bloggers block? When you feel empty and uninspired? Have you ever felt this way?

And what to do when this transcends your writing area and consumes you whole and leaves you almost dead? Because, honestly, what are we than plain dead, when we feel that void and lack of life in us. Maybe I am just depressed and having some weird PMS, or something? But from time to time I do feel overwhelmed by the world, by its crazy chaos and how it is rich in everything but so empty at the same time. I feel suffocated by that emptiness. A paradox, really. Everything is accessible, here, ready to be used and consumed, material or not - and I still feel all that abundance this world has to offer - as a burden, as something that is not really here, not palpable, not even true. Like we are all just ... pretending to live this world around us.

Sometimes a bloggers block is just a block, but sometimes that block is a product of much deeper state of mind, a feeling so strong and overbearing that you just feel the need to un-plug completely. And sometimes, you just feel the need to fight. The true fight begins in the moment when you need to preoccupy your tired and depressed, already overcrowded and suffocated mind with lots of ideas and inspirations hoping some of it will interest you hard enough to give you back your will to live. Sometimes that process goes very, very slow.

If you opt for unplugging, then unplug. Sometimes you just need to shut down, empty your batteries and recharge. But today I feel like that would be a waste of time. I decided to fight my block, my inner demons and try to free my creativity. Few hours ago I wanted to write something, but felt uninspired. Then the frustration came. What to do? I even goggled what to do when bored. Shame level - infinite. What to do?

Thank god for the internet. And that I didn`t unplug my computer. This way I know I am not alone, and I have found many tips from accomplished people and inspiring writers that enabled me to deal with my "block" issues. Now I feel grateful for many of perks world nowadays has to offer - internet, God bless you, that were suffocating me few hours ago.

(I know this post grew into a monstrosity, but bare with me, I`m getting there.)

Dealing with blocks and feelings of lack of inspiration can overwhelming just as the world around us that sometimes gives us that very block. We get caught up in this run-a-round of feelings and guilt and very often we just give up. These feelings do pass in the end, and we do get to feel better, but as these feeling pass, so does our time that we will never get back. World around us changes and we miss it. The moment has passed. Of course, there is a way around that. As I mentioned few paragraphs before, you can fight. And I will.

Feeling the block, the blues, being uninspired or even bored can change if you just give yourself a chance. Few ideas I got from Gala Darling seem like a great ways to get back on the horse with your creative juices. You will find something that will interest you. You will kick aside those toxic feelings and thoughts that were disabling you. You will free your mind and thrive. Or, if nothing else, you won`t feel bored. Thank you Gala for these ideas (I will list some, my favourites, you can read the rest here - the whole, full list of 50 ways how to break a writer`s block):

Write about your passion.

Set a timer for 9 minutes, and just start writing!

Write about something you’re looking forward to.

Write in somebody else’s voice.

Interview someone fascinating.

Just write 150 words.

Tell a fairytale.

Write about something which scares you.

Write a how to post.

Record yourself speaking. - This one would be a real challenge because it scared the shit out of me.

Go for a walk, take your camera, and pay attention.

Create a character and write a story around them.

Put together your bucket list.

Make a video!

Try something completely out of character, and then write about it.

Write about a second chance.

I do feel a bit better now... mainly because reading this list, picking my favourites and writing them down in my notebook, has given me some new ideas about upcoming post ideas and/or personal challenges that would be great and smart to cross of the list with great success. Don`t you agree?

Another great article I found is from Jeff Goins from Goins, writer.com. As Jeff writes, the most important thing when feeling like a load of useless crap is to know two things - 1. Resistance 2. "Blocked" vs. Empty.

The first lesson is summed up to this - "You must to not simply wait for inspiration, but you have to do your part by showing up. It’s up to the Muse to do the rest." We will feel resistance (almost) every day, but we need to fight it.

Second lesson is a bit scary. Why scary? Because it is one thing to feel the emptiness like something that came from the world, consumed you and left you lifeless and "blocked" and the other (much scarier) is to admit that that emptiness comes from within us. That truly is depressing. And scary. I don`t actually have neither the courage nor the words to describe how much that scares me. But it seems this can happen. And it happens. But let’s see what Jeff says about this.

"When we’re feeling uninspired, we may, in fact, be spiritually and emotionally empty." Do you feel the weight of these words? Although these words sound so final and dark, it is not the end of the world. You just need to know the difference, not to mistaken the two, and if it is not a block, just go and... Fill up!

How to know the difference?

Depending on what’s going on today, there may be two reasons for your feeling uninspired:

• 
  

  One may be a real case of the Resistance — your own laziness, outside distractions, or some other negative force keeping you from making a difference. If that’s the case, then you only have one choice: show up, do the work.

  
  


• 
  

  However, if you’re feeling empty, be careful. You could waste hours sitting in front of a computer screen or with a guitar on your lap. If this is the case, you may need to step away and go do something that fills you up — play with your kids, listen to music, go for a run.

  
  

I think when you look deep inside, you will know the answer. Usually all the answers are within us, we are just afraid to look most of the times because we are scared what we might find. I am too. But that is related to a whole different subject that would take a whole separate post, so, some other time.

The conclusion is, take a moment or two to feel what is really going on, are you blocked or you need to take time to reboot and feel up. Whichever the case, exploring some of the ideas or doing what your heart thrives for at the moment will for sure give you what you`ve been missing. Your inner sparkle. It will light up again and/or even stronger than before.

I know this sounds a bit cheese-y and oh so poetic but in the end, it is true. Only be aware, resistance is always lurking so don’t be lazy! Bloggers blocks or writers blocks, uninspiring moments will always happen but the important thing is not to give up!

 photo source: source

p.s. the site I kindly borrowed (thank you!) the photo from, has an amazing article about how to overcome the writers block. You should read it.