Good bye my little friend

I still can`t believe he is gone. I can`t believe I am actually writing this post, about his death. Do you remember this post? It was not long ago when I wrote it and I never imagined that I would be saying my goodbye so soon.

Ben passed away on Tuesday, 28 Oct only 30 minutes after my arrival home. As if he was holding on so I could say my goodbye. Which I didn`t really, because he looked better after few hours of IV and I thought he was gonna get better. Only he did not.

Ben was 12 years old, maybe even more, and was and rescue dog. He was with us for almost 2 years, it would be 2 around Christmas. I miss him so much. Even the cats miss him. He got sick so suddenly and was gone in 3 days. I know he was old but I have to be honest, I did not think his time would be so soon. Everyone says, at least he died with us, not alone, at home and not out on the cold. Yes, that brings me some comfort, but he is still gone. Last few days went by in a bit of a blur for all of us. I have been crying my eyes out, and I can only imagine how my husband is doing. Although I "picked" him, he was his dog. Or should I say, he was Ben`s human. He picked him in the end. Listened to him and cried when hubby was on business trips, and I was the only one at home. He loved him so much.

It is so strange without him in the house. Although he was a quiet dog who loved to sleep and just chill all day long, I can feel the emptiness all around me. I don`t need to pay attention in the kitchen when I walk, there is no one to be stepped on. I can open the fridge just like that, he is not sleeping in front of it. The floors are clean and no one is waking me up at crack of dawn to let him out to pee or bark at a hedgehog. I would do anything to wander the front yard at 4 am, looking for an intruder that keeps my dog up. They would make friends and then Ben would tried to eat it. Not good. But I would trade the world for it. I miss him so much. Even the cat is depressed.

Ben, my dear little friend you gave us 2 wonderful years and you were family to us. Not a pet. Family. You taught me that old dogs, and gosh you were old, can be taught new tricks. YAY! We didn`t get to do the "roll over"s but... when we meet again, I am sure we will. By the end you were blind and deaf but you still new when to greet us at the door. You went away quickly and quiet as if you knew we couldn`t handle making the decision of putting you to sleep. I don`t think I could do it. You died in our arms, at home, loved more than I will ever be able to describe. But you knew.

And we will always love you.

Be happy my friend beyond the rainbow in dog heaven. And you will never be hungry again. Ever.

And when the time comes, I know you will give us a sign whom to rescue next.

Love you,

I.